I’ve been trying to put a finger on what I’m trying to accomplish by blogging. I have no expectations of being one of those super bloggers who can draw millions of visitors and generate enough money in ad revenues alone to support themselves and their families. For one thing, blogging is time-consuming and I simply don’t have the time. For another, I just don’t think I have anything interesting enough to say that would draw strangers here and convince them to stay. A big part of me felt that I jumped into this because it was what all the cool kids were doing. “Did I only do this to fit in?” I thought to myself.

There’s a pretty good chick-lit book out there, called The Wonder Spot. It’s one of those coming-of-age stories, following the main character as she grows up and deals with life’s punches. It’s about finding “wonder spots”, those moments of clarity when things suddenly make sense and you’re almost back on track doing the things you always hoped you’d be doing and living out your dreams without fear of consequences. I know the book’s premise is very cliche, but I haven’t been able to forget the phrase since reading the book.

Anyway, my point is, I can recall a number of times in my life when I’ve found a wonder spot — right after T’s death, right before deciding which college to go to, right after ending what I now affectionaly refer to as “The Computer Science Debacle”, some time during the months after E’s accident, right before graduation. But wonder spot sightings have been scarce in the past few years. A few months ago, I began to worry about my life being so stagnant and dangerously bland. Everyone else was enjoying life and I was moping around all the time, unable to escape this funk. It was then that quilling happened. From there, it expanded to other things — paper crafts, knitting, and photography to name a few. And while I’m admittedly new to and not really that great at all of these activities, I’m beginning to see new meaning in why I’m so drawn to them. They give me a reason to be active and seek joy and beauty in my surroundings. I’ve also noticed that I’m a little less neurotic and I have a little less fear (fear of being in public situations, of making a fool of myself, of trying new things, of taking risks). Little by little, things are getting better. I can see now that each of these activities has been a new wonder spot, but where the others had been accompanied by sudden life-changing events, these have come on softly and gently guided me to where I needed to be.

So I think that’s where blogging comes in. It lets me document my progress as I flit from one project to another. I’ll admit I’m a little A.D.D. when it comes to dedicating myself to a single craft for any length of time, but at least I’ll be able to say that I did it and enjoyed it and it brought me that much closer to finding another wonder spot.