It’s been one of those quiet but mentally exhausting weekends. The new year always brings with it a certain level of feeling obligated to be introspective and a commitment to thinking ahead. I gave up on making resolutions some years ago because they always ended up being more about things that were wrong with me that I wanted to change and less about things to look forward to. Last thing I need is to give myself a raging case of BDD and an inferiority complex. And these days, I just want things to look forward to, dammit! So no more resolutions in the traditional sense. I’m subscribing to a different school of thought these days…one that doesn’t involve setting unrealistic goals.

Anyway, I’m lying in bed last night, and I look over to my nightstand right before I reach over to turn off the light. It then occurs to me that there’s a story to be told here. And borne from these thoughts, I present you with my expectations for this year, summed up by the clutter on my nightstand.

1. Turtle

I’ve had this seaturtle keychain for years and years. My sister bought it for me on her trip to Boston when she was in, oh, seventh grade. Last night, it reminded me that I need to make more of an effort to plan to visit my out of town friends (Boston? Chicago? DC? Seattle?). For that matter, I need to make plans to travel more in general, which also reminded me that I NEED TO GET OUT OF NEW YORK. Not that I don’t like being here anymore, but I really want to be somewhere sunny and warm and beachy. This year’s winter is giving me a wicked case of S.A.D. and I can’t begin to express how badly I need this beach vacation to happen, for the sake of my sanity.

2. Onion

Just when you thought I couldn’t get any weirder, I show up with a picture of onions lying around my room. Ever since that fateful night over a week ago when I was forced to stand outside in the freezing cold in nothing but a party dress (let’s call that night New Years Eve, just because), I’ve been battling the sniffles. Someone (probably my mom) once told me that onions are good to have around when you’re sick because they prevent you from getting sicker. Old wives tale? Urban legend? Maybe. But at this point, I’ll try anything. And so, I vow that for the rest of 2010, I’ll take better care of myself. Being sick, despite its working from home perks, is the pits.

3. Blackberry

I don’t think I need to tell you why that’s there. There’s also the blue keychain rope, which holds the SecurID I use to log into my work computer. What you can’t see is The Notebook of Work Notes underneath all of that. If I ever lost that thing, I think I’d throw myself off a cliff. I need to work on separating work from play. I have to discipline myself to work when it’s appropriate to work, and play when it’s appropriate to play. And I need to remember not to let the work dominate and loom over the play. I’m about to sound ridiculously cliche, but life is too short for that.

4. Book

I need to read more. ‘Nuff said.

5. Pen & paper

I spend entirely too much time on the computer and not enough time reading or playing or traveling (hello there, list items #1, 3, 4). I find that when I stop and make a nice organized list, I’m more productive. I also feel a lot better, knowing that my handwriting hasn’t deteriorated to the way it looked when I was in kindergarten. Don’t laugh! Spend too much typing, and the whole shape of your hand changes and you start holding your pens differently. I’m not sure if that was scientifically accurate, but that’s how my hand feels after spending too much time at a keyboard. So why not spend some time making a dent in the collection? Maybe it’s time to start writing a diary, old school style. I’ll feel more accomplished and I’ll have tangible proof of my mental/spiritual progress to boot.

6. Clutter in general

Clearly a sign that I need to spend more time cleaning and less time being introspective about my junk. This is what artists must feel like. (I think I just uncovered the truth behind meaningless art.)