You see what I did there with the title? Eh? Eh? I’m so clever, I can’t stand it.

Meet Betta Fish Numero Quattro in this family. This one belongs to my sister, who inherited it from her negligent, mean fish owner friend. Just kidding, Sister’s Friend Whom I Have Never Met And Am Not Passing Judgment On!

Personally, I think he’s kinda cute. At the very least, he was more tolerant of me shoving a giant camera in front of his bowl, which makes him a winner in my book. The other grumpsters always swim away or flare their fins.

H. Goldfish has yet to come out of hiding for comment on this atrocious trend.